A date with the “unheard of”

The Queen-in breakage testicles, or if you prefer “The ballbuster’s Queen” has accepted my invitation for an afternoon meeting.

Outside the train station in Uzhgorod her taxi stops, and I see a short, plumpish woman coming through me. Compared to the photos she sent me last night, she must have gained few kilos and getting older of a decade in a space of hours.

She wears dark sunglasses, that, she will decide to take off only in several hours.

I do not know at that moment that I was meeting The Queen of breakage balls. Until now, my date’s name was "G".

In just a minute, she swings me when I asked her as she goes:

- No, I do not feel well, a little sleepy, tired.

She continues

- You look older than your pictures!

In addition, to be certain to make her point and make me feel happy by her warm greeting:

- By the way, you do not mind driving me to the dry cleaning to get my mother's coat!
Seen in such hospices, I could only be interested in this incomparable phenomenon ... Meet such a shrew worth seeing; I decided instead to escape, to spend time with her, which I foresee will give me memories to tell.

It was going to go beyond my wildest expectations!

I will not dwell on her very authoritative way to show the road, it sounds like the staff sergeant in the film "Full Metal Jacket»...

Once, the mom’s coat recovered. Achtung! Let us have a cup of coffee.

First, whether we stay outside or inside, obviously a major decision to her ... Finally it is outside on the terrace. Moreover, go for the torture on the waiter. She is one of those customers who love to torment staff people by questioning indefinitely about the well making of a cappuccino. Unfortunately, I do not speak Ukrainian, and miss the monologue, but see, that the server does not give a dam to Madame Doubtfire’s comments.

Once both served (she ordered for me a cappuccino), a conversation begins. In less than a minute, I want to strangle her. For not content by being Mrs. unlivable, she is fascist, racist and intolerant; in fact, she does not like anyone apparently.

Our conversation turns to Denmark, where the poor Danish people had to undergo that shrew for ten years.

In short, she hates all Muslims crossed in Denmark, every one of them! As a man who loves to play with nutcase, I added: They should be all shot dead, don’t yu think? Yes-Yes! She replies fanatically.

Then, comes her ex husband story, who makes her misery (one wonders why?).
Suddenly Madame wants to eat something. Being a gentleman, I propose to cross the street to eat at this little Italian restaurant.

Here we go again with the server. During this dinner or I heard so much nonsense that I should write a book about; while she soliloquizes, she has time to make comments, advices and other unpleasant critics to the poor waiter who I’m sure thought: "well, today it is not my lucky day."

Before leaving, she translated for me "I explained to the server that red wine is not served cool but ... blablabla & more...)

As I opened the door (yes, I know I am a masochist!), She said, "Thank you" and I thought for a glimpse it was for me! NOP! She looked at me strangely making me understand that, her august thanks were addressed to the staff especially.

In the car, she asked me to stop because she must take some meat commissioned in advance... In fact, she went to a butcher to buy meat. Fifteen minutes follow, and she’s back ... As we are on a parking lot of a supermarket she says; Ah, I forgot the bread!
There, it becomes a real comedy. I wait 5 minutes and enter the supermarket; I have the incomparable pleasure to see my favor Ballbuster’s pushing a basket for her weekly shopping….It makes me laugh nervously by seeing how far, can go a shrew.
I returned to my car and told myself that, "does it really exist, Am I in the 7th dimension? »

Back after 20 minutes, not embarrassed at all, I give a ride home to the “lady”.
She threw me a vague goodbye, and, goes towards for new adventures.

I went to see a good friend, I drank two beers and we laughed a lot.

Thank you dear for this wonderful afternoon; you are the hell of a bitch! BRAVO!!! You are incredibly unheard of.

George zeter-uzhgorod - 2015